Love Yourself

   Today I made myself watch a video on self-worth knowing it to be good for me. Times are difficult and depression can be too familiar to try to escape. With my FinchApp I created a new Journey for myself to help fight my own image of myself. As a child I was taught to be humble and that I could always do better. When my grades came in, if they were below an A+ there would be intimidating conversations. Therefore I strode towards the perfect image my parents had for me despite never being able to reach it. Even with good grades there was a lecture to not drop behind. Always study ahead for the next class, practice made perfect, less games and music practice. There are times I would be able to remind myself that there is more to studying and acting the part of the perfect child. Now and then my past creeps into my thoughts and tortures my inner peace with anxiety, stress and panic attacks.

1. My achievements do not define me. Though my resume is four pages long it does not express who I am as a human being.

2. My income and job do not make me a better or worse person. Everything is expensive, there is no middle class anymore. None of us chose to live the way we do, it is what we were dealt. The rich get richer and more unhappy while we struggle and find the beauty in the little things because that is all we have.

3. My childhood does not define who I am now. No one is asked if they wish to be born let alone what kind of parents we would prefer to have. If this were the case mine would be different, less judgmental and more understanding of everyone they met. They would trust science, read only the new testament if they had to read the bible at all, and be more environmentally conscious (they are farmers and this still needs a lot of work).

4. My level of education does not make me smarter or less privileged than anyone else. Our location, parent's income and the culture change our ability for better education. Growing up in a small American farm town made the decision for me for now.

5. How other people decide to view and treat me does not define who I am. No one is better then anyone else, we are all human, individuals in our own right. We need to love and take care of each other to live better healthier lives. 

6. Other people's achievements and comparing myself to them will not make me anymore like them. We can not control other people or how they are able to do things. We can only control our own happiness.

7. My appearance does not say who I am as a person. If I wish to dress goth one day, baby doll the next, and old english house wife the next I absolutely can. If cat ears make me happy I will wear them all day while helping customers, they can smile or they can show disgust, I don't care while being happy in my own body.

8. My relationship status does not define my worth. Being engaged does not make me better then single people or worse then married people. What my relationship is with another person is my own business and only effects me and the person(s) I am with. Want to have a sister group of single people that hang out in their free time, do it, be you.

9. The number of friends I do or do not have does not change who I am. The value of those friends are what really matter to me and they love me for who I truly am.

10. Social Media Status does not make me more or less important than anybody else. We are all the same species with different personalities, preferences and things that make us happy. My fiance likes the dark where I am petrified of it. A person may enjoy watching westerns and soap operas where I will stick to my cartoons and watch murder mysteries. My YouTube channel only has 6 subscribers and unknown amount follow this blog. They make me happy. If it makes someone else happy then wonderful, if no one else sees it, oh well, I enjoyed doing it.

11. Age does not define who I fully am. Being raised very old fashion made it easier for me to get along with people older than me. Having a young looking face makes people suspicious of me when walking through the alcohol isle. Age is just a number and I don't care what age I am, people are gonna judge no matter what.

12. My decision not to have children is for my own mental sanity. Though I am gifted with patience and a loving heart, the way taking care of the last kitten went I know that would be a bad idea in my current stage of life. I am 29 until July. If it happens it happens, if it don't it don't. I don't honestly care. Simply being with the man I love brings me happiness, a child is not required. 

The YouTube video in question is "Watch this if you are struggling with your self-worth" by Psych2Go.