Mental Health study with Patrick Teahan LICSW, "6 Lies From Childhood Trauma 2022". Going through his video these are the parts of each that resonated with me when I was a child.
#6 The Real you isn't acceptable
- able to shift or blend into social situations to "belong"
- adopting other peoples vibes/ personas/ mannerisms to fit in
- stuck in a career not for you but its what your family wanted
- spend a lot of energy watching what you say as to not make waves
- fear of abandonment
- default to choices of others instead of voicing your own
- worried what other think of you
- fear of exploring other things cause of how it may look to others
- not know what your real personality is
Luckily today these don't all apply to me anymore but when I was younger they all absolutely did. These were brought on by many reasons. Both of my parents I believe lived the lie that their real selves were not acceptable to their families and friends. My parents and grandparents, most of my relatives really, were focused on appearances, how we looked to others in the community. If I rocked the boat with how I really felt on things it made my environment unsafe. Parents are narcissistic and never fully authentic.
However, through all of that, I know that I am me. I love who I am and that is what matters most. It wasn't until I could fully love myself that I could unconditionally love my now fiance. Things were different with him then anyone else in my life. I finally felt safe and free to express my true feelings. He always encourages me to learn new things about the world and myself. From which I have grown into the full me and have learned to love myself for exactly who I am despite where I came from.
I encourage everyone that grew up in a toxic environment to seek help. Whether that is with a professional, a friend or a psychologist on YouTube. It is never too late to fall in love with your true self.
Blessed Be.
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