Question what you value: Do you value building the sexual life that you want?

   Mental Health study with Patrick Teahan LICSW, "6 Lies From Childhood Trauma 2022". Going through his video these are the parts of each that resonated with me when I was a child. 

#3 The sexual you is bad/ sex is bad

- worrying about having too low or too high a sex drive

- thought of sex as an exchange, not a mutual shared experience

- too focused on touch, too needy on touch

- now don't like to be touched too much by my family

- use to get caught up in wanting to be a good lover

- use to put my self worth into sexuality

- didn't use to like aspects of my gender, now I identify as Bi Sexual 

- shamed as a kindergartner for wanting to be a boy instead of a girl

- was told that showing too much skin made me a slut

- was body shamed

- family allowed me no boundaries 

- my family are Puritan Baptist 

    So many of these are still a problem I am facing today but are working on it. My family didn't really teach me much about being a female other than the old ways. Women obeyed their husbands, dressed conservatively (most skin covered), women were mostly silent, children were silent. My mother taught me nothing about tampons or contraceptives. Birth control was bad, periods were women's curse from God because of the first female Eve. As for sex, it would always hurt and you do it when ever the man wants or needs it. 

    Today I declare I am a healthy and sexy bisexual woman. I embrace what I know about myself to be true and disregard the shit that was beaten into me at home. Remembering to talk to my inner child makes a difference in how I see myself and how I feel about myself. 

    I encourage everyone that grew up in a toxic environment to seek help. Whether that is with a professional, a friend or a psychologist on YouTube. We are as beautiful as we remind ourselves we are. Sex is not bad, it is the natural cycle of our species. Whatever they have told you in the past, masturbation is not wrong either. On the contrary, scientists have proven many benefits to it including controlling our hormones in a healthy manner. Make yourself happy, no one else can do it for you.

Blessed Be