Witch Belle

  Childhood Trauma Personalities: Watched YouTube video by Patrick Teahan LICSW:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiGbgKICNEU   For me I feel like the "Hostile" personality was the main one with a little "Are we good", with both of them still popping up with certain triggers.     My childhood, teen years and early adulthood were filled with yelling. If something happened, broke or went missing it was my fault. Mom came home in a bad mood it was my fault. My grades were not perfect straight A's it was my fault, not the fact I wasn't getting help with lessons from all my teachers or from my parents when I didn't understand something. My family is highly religious, Puritan Baptists, if I thought something that did not align with their thinking then it was the devil that put those thoughts into my mind. If I questioned them or asked why something didn't make sense logically then I was breaking the 5th Commandment to Honor (Obey) Thy Father and Mother. Le...

    The year has started out just like any other, stuff goes wrong. For nearly all of January I was battling a severe kidney infection that had inflamed all of my organs on my left side of my body. After two ER visits, two CT scans, strong antibiotics, multiple tests and Urologist visits I have recovered from the worst of it. Still currently doing home physical therapy to restrengthen up my psuas muscle (connects the hip to the lower back) which was agitated so bad from the infection that it now makes pain in my lower ribs on that side. Doctors were perplexed how I acquired such an infection and why none of my tests showed an infection, only the CT scans did. Further more my current job has been letting many people go, so the stress of possibly loosing my job and insurance is very strong right now.     Now that you are all caught up, that brings me to my bad anxiety attack of yesterday and panic attack today. Yesterday was the first day after another wave o...